Thursday, June 11, 2009

Look at the guy on the right.

Alright. I'll admit one thing and one thing only... that man, Sen. Pedro Espada, Jr. on the left looks like a badass. If he had a gun in his hand and a military junta behind him I might give that man some respect.

But look at that little bitch on the right. What in god's name is that man doing. Apparently he just realized that they are calling this a "Coup" and that is what the commie's do. I should know, I was a communist originally, girl.

I don't know who these republicans think they are, but when I was banging you could only call something a coup if you were a genuine badass. That's just how coups worked. So, here's just a message to all those republicans and the two democrats in the New York state senate:


I said it.

Batista out.

You got questions I've got answers

I've been getting a lot of feedback from y'all pointing out some "inconsistencies" with my point of view. Been getting a lot of suck-ass questions. So I'm gonna come right out and answer them. You hear me, assholes, I'm gonna do it right now.

How are you writing a blog? You died in 1973...
Answer: How are you talking so articulately to me with my foot up your ass and my thumb on your tongue? Word.

Question: Aren't you an evil evil man? Why should we pay attention to you?
Answer: Thought leadership. 'Nuff said.

Okay, you're a Latin American dictator who was ousted in 1959 and died in '73, so my first question is how are you writing about the New York Senate coup, and my second question is why do you write as if you're a sassy black woman?
Answer: Alright, sugar, you caught me. Let me come clear with y'all. My name is Fulgencio Batista, that's a sassy name, and my sass has lived on posthumously on the internets so I can comment on whatever the hell I want to. No one ever heard the last of Batista. Also, I talk like this because I ain't gonna let no one bring me down.

That coup is for retardos.

Batista's back y'all and citing his sources

Sup bitches.

According to wikipedia, a coup d'etat is this:

"A coup d'état (pronounced /kuːdeɪˈtɑː/ AHD: [ko͞o"dā tä]), and coup, is the sudden, unconstitutional deposition of a legitimate government, by a small group of the State Establishment — usually the military — to replace the deposed government with another, either civil or military. A coup d’état succeeds when the usurpers establish their legitimacy if the attacked government fail to thwart them, by allowing their (strategic, tactical, political) consolidation and then receiving the deposed government’s surrender; or the acquiescence of the populace and the non-participant military forces."

According to New York Senate a coup is defined as this:

"Two whiny ass democrats decide that one day they want to try on the red hat and as they're tripping balls on the conservative drug high they feeling they decide: 'why the fuck not, let's vote with these lame ass rightwingers for once.' And then everyone gets up in arms because people ain't doing what they want them to do. Two stupid ass democrats, that's what a coup is."

According to Batista, moi, a coup is as follows:

"A badass mother fucking take over of government and then the simultaneous persecution of the nation's people."

Naw, what you think is the correct answer? You answer wrong and I'm going to go all batista on yo' ass.

My name is Batista and this is MY blog.

I know coups...

Sup girl,

My name is Fulgencio Batista... yeah, you heard me... Ful-gen-cho Ba-Tees-Ta. And let me tell ya right here that I know coups. That's what I said, I practically invented the mother fuckers... Cuba 1952. Yeah, that's right. Look it up. That's my face y'all. My face.

Now there has been some discussion about this New York state senate "Coup." Apparently some lame sauce democrats decided they were going to switch sides and vote for a Republican. Bitch, that ain't a coup. That's just two lame ass retardos. And as the saying goes, two lame ass retardos does not a coup make.

My name is Fulgencio Batista, and I'm the sassiest mother fucking dictator you ever seen. I'm also the coup king, so don't even try to put your dick around my coup mastery.

Deal with it, girl. Deal with it.

Fulgencio out.